Life is no longer the same and it will never be. It could mean a simple daily habit that used to be pleasurable no longer is, certain situations that remind us of the incident seem unbearable. Or suddenly you wake up one morning and you realize that you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship that looks a lot like the one with your parents. With traditional talk therapy and time, we might mentally understand that our fears are unreasonable, but our emotions still get triggered with certain situations or people and our emotions are hijacked making us feel just like with the initial incident.

With childhood trauma, this often will find us stuck feeling emotions of a child – being overwhelmed, feeling stuck, feeling powerless etc. We know that this doesn’t make sense, but we just can’t shake these feelings. Our behavior might display avoidance, isolation, internalizing our emotions, people pleasing, etc.

Over time we have learned to adapt our behaviors and we build protective factors to avoid being a victim ever again. The relationships we form never have our full trust, we are reluctant to get too close, fear that our partners will leave us. Or, choosing partners where we take on a parental role in the relationship,providing us with a sense of control, often there is poor emotional regulation in relationship. People might go from extreme closeness, or distance and there is no in between.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Now, you might ask yourself, “How do I get out of this? I realize this no longer works for me. I need help. I change my relationships, my jobs, my environment, and I end up with the same results.”

 You might want to consider EMDR therapy. With Eye Movement Desensitizationand Reprocessing therapy, a trained and licensed therapist will use eyemovement to help access memories of the trauma and the identified negative belief – such as I am trapped, I am not good enough, I am helpless etc. and reprocess the event to reduce the emotional stress associated with it. Once this stress is reduced the client can access an adaptive adult belief easier that will allow them to move forward in life. Such as I have self-worth and I can thrive regardless, or I can let go of some control etc. The reprocessing helps to repair the mental injury caused by the traumatic event. Now the client is no longer stuck in their trauma responds of flight, fight, freeze or fawn and can choose beliefs that will allow them to work toward their life goals if this is a happier relationship, a better job, or maybe an overall healthier life.  

Schedule a free consultation if you are ready to give this a try.

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