What are the signs and effects of relationship PTSD? How does EMDR therapy help with this?

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship, and you left the relationship knowing it was just enough. That you deserve better? Or, during a breakup with your partner who never behaved harmfully but now acts in a manner that is emotionally, verbally, sexually, or physically abusive and is causing relationship PTSD.

Relationship PTSD signs:

·        Having unwanted trust issues

·        Gravitating toward abusive and controlling partners

·        Blowing things out of proportion or overreacting to minor disagreements or missteps.

·        Sabotaging new relationships

·        Feeling defensive about your choice of partners

The most common sign of relationship trauma is the inability to trust a new partner. If you struggle to trust a new partner in your life, though they have done nothing to lose your trust, you may have relationship PTSD.

How would EMDR help with Relationship trauma?

Let me explain to you the 8 phases of EMDR using cheating as an example of relationship trauma.

Phase 1:

The therapist and the client will talk about the history of what the client is wanting to work on. For example, the current relationship, past relationships, and possibly relationships with parents and siblings. During this phase we also create a treatment plan. For example, triggers in the most recent relationship, such as going out with friends and seeing significant other with another women/man.

Phase 2:

During this phase the client will get to experience a sample of the Eye Movement as it is used in later sessions and get a full disclosure of what to expect.

Phase 3:

In session the therapist would explore a recent trigger, such as for a person that was a victim of cheating in a current or past relationship, triggers might be their partner coming home late from work, spending time on the phone in the restroom etc. We then identify the negative belief that comes up for you with that trigger. For example, “I am not good enough”, “Iam a failure” etc. Then we identify an adaptive belief that will allow you to accept what happened and move forward. For example, “I can accept my strength and my weaknesses”, or “I am good enough for the right person”, etc. These negative and adaptive beliefs are measured using different scales (VOC, SUD) so the therapist can make sure that the sessions are effective.

Phase 4:

Desensitization – the client is asked to think of the incident (boyfriend cheating) and the negative belief (I am a failure) while eyemovement is applied until the stress level associated with the event will be reduced to a much lower level so Phase 5 the installation can proceed.

Phase 5:

Installation - The client now is asked to think of the incident (boyfriend cheating) and the adaptive belief (I am good enough for the right person) and eyemovement is applied until the client connects with the adaptive belief to the highest level possible.

Phase 6:

Future Template - The therapist and the client might decide to run a future scenario that might trigger the client and measure their responds with their new adaptive belief.

Phase 7:

Closure - Discuss the experience with the client, reminder about how to handle emotions if they come up, discuss insight they might have gained.

These phases are repeated with the current incident, past incident and possibly a future one.

The outcome after these sessions is often that the client will have more awareness, experience no or less of a trigger when encountering similar situations and now being able to move forward in their life, if this applies to healing the current relationship, or changing the way we enter a new relationship in the future.

If you have more questions, please contact me by using the form below.

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