Don't make significant life decisions when your cup is empty...

During times of physical and mental exhaustion, making major life choices is ill-advised. In these moments, we may be tempted to abandon our dreams, convinced that the difficulties we face will persist indefinitely. When we're feeling down or depressed, our perception of reality shifts, focusing on why we can't overcome challenges. Overwhelmed and tempted to give up, we lack the energy to address problems, resorting to learned behaviors like flight, fight, or fawn – running away, becoming aggressive, or passive-aggressive, or people-pleasing. These behaviors lead to painful, unfulfilling, and short-lived relationships, even with someone we once loved. How did we reach this point, and whose fault is it? The truth is, we each contribute to these dynamics, influenced by learned patterns, cultural norms, generational differences, and more.

Motivations for change often stem from multiple failed relationships, unhappiness, dealing with illness, or recognizing unsustainable coping mechanisms. Acknowledging that change starts with us can be overwhelming, given the myriad options available. Everyone promises outcomes we desire, but navigating this landscape, especially for those new to the process, can be challenging. So, what questions should we ask ourselves before committing to a program, whether it's a self-guided class, professional coaching, or a self-help group? Here are some suggestions:

1. How much guidance do I need?If previous attempts to make changes have failed, and you possess all the knowledge but still struggle, professional help with regular sessions might be the key. Groups offer a platform for sharing, but there's limited time for deep dives. Consider the money spent on unsuccessful attempts and weigh it against the investment in professional sessions, especially if a solid support system at home is lacking.
2. Am I ready for the time and financial commitment now?Change demands energy, and achieving goals requires time for weekly sessions, implementing changes, and financial investment. Ensure you've thought through the commitment, as readiness may not always align with initial enthusiasm. Sometimes, addressing physical and mental energy needs is crucial before embarking on the journey.
3. Am I prepared to confront what holds me back?Identifying patterns involves delving into current triggers and tracing them back to childhood, an uncomfortable process. Embracing this discomfort is crucial, as healing requires feeling. Being prepared to face uncomfortable emotions is vital, as it paves the way for effective therapies like EMDR, guiding you through triggers and offering tools for emotional self-regulation.
4. Am I willing to live with the consequences of inaction?Consider the repercussions of not taking action. Reflect on living in your current state indefinitely, maintaining unhealthy relationships, and the impact on your mental and physical well-being. For parents, think about passing on unhealthy patterns to your children. Addressing these issues now ensures active engagement in life, avoiding the pitfalls of unhealthy coping mechanisms.

As your coach/therapist, my role is to guide you through this process. With years of education, training, life experience, and a background in yoga, I bring coping skills to ensure a safe and supportive environment for your journey toward healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

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